Glossary of Chris

Here are some of my favorite acronyms and phrases.

The S: This is short for saying sex. Ex: Don’t have The S with strangers.

J: Jewish. Ex: My friend Shoshuna is J.

Less Active: A guy you can tell is gay, but is in denial. Derived from the Mormon use of less active which is someone who is a member of the church, but not practicing. So a less active gay guy is a guy who is gay, but not practicing. You can also use the phrase Pink Elephant.

Triple D’s: Triple Details. Nothing to do with boobs you pervos! Ex: Give me the Triple D’s from your date on Saturday.

Nervy B. Nervous Breakdown. Taken from my favorite series of books. Ex: I am going to have a Nervy B if someone doesn’t shut that kid up!

F.T.L.: French Toast Look. We came up with this after a friend asked a waiter at a nice restaurant if they served breakfast. He said yes, and she asked to order the French Toast. He gave her a look like she has just announced that she had a dead baby stuffed in her purse. Turns out they only serve French toast during breakfast hours, not for dinner. So anytime someone says something particularly dim, or is just being plain old stupid they get the dreaded F.T.L.

Doll: I use this word a lot. It comes in handy because I don’t have to remember anybody’s name. Ex: Hey Doll, pass the salt. Hey Doll, I can see your undies. Hey Doll, you have a bat in the cave! Bat in the cave!

Hamburger Soup: Someone who is in a particularly bad mood. Courtesy of Angela. She had a Nervy B one day because all she wanted to eat was Hamburger Soup. Legend has it she had a total meltdown, so now anytime someone is a very bad mood they are considered to be Hamburger Soupy. The only rememdy to hamburger soup is cupcakes.

Missy: Stupid girl with big poofy blonde hair, lots of makeup, no brains and tight pants. Mainly found on college campuses. Ex: That stupid missy almost ran me over with her VW Bug.

Bizzo: Cross between bitch and ho. Ex: That old lady is a bizzo.