Why I am better than Spencer and Ben.

This was an article that I found on MSN right around my birthday. I thought it was interesting and thought I’d post it on my blog so all my adoring fans could get to know me better.

Ps. I have added some of my own comments. They are in parentheses.

Read on to see which careers are best suited to spunky, chatty, versatile Gemini:

Journalist:
Naturally nosy (homo say what?! Nosy… Unless by nosy you mean wanting to know everyone elses business…then yeah I guess I am nosy…), Gemini will want to get to the bottom of any story or idea. This makes them perfect for the profession of journalist. They are wonderful writers(true), and can engage the reader with a compelling voice. No stone will be left unturned and facts will be checked thoroughly. Some will literally go to the ends of the Earth to get a story (if by ends of the earth you mean to the internet, then, yes I agree). As children they probably had ink all over their hands or sore wrists from typing at the computer (I can tell you one thing. If my wrists were sore, it wasn’t from typing.)

Translator:
Gemini is very proficient in languages, knowing at least two (Yup, I know English and the universal language of cute shoes.) They may have lived in foreign countries or at least have a fascination with them. These silver-tongued devils (as long as the silver comes from Tiffany I am fine with this) are very articulate and have a talent for the art of translation. They are able to glean the essence from one language into another with ease. They work rather quickly and think fast which is necessary for this career.

Talk Show Host:
The natives of this sign love to talk (yes), are lively and entertaining (yes yes), and have a gift for the art of conversation (a thousand times yes!). They are at home in many social situations and are never at a loss for words. This makes them naturals for the realm of broadcasting, and in particular radio and television talk shows. The only challenge will be to know when to pause and let their guests get a word in (since when do guests on talk shows have anything important to say anyway). Gemini is a naturally curious individual, who is constantly seeking to know and understand. (Watch your back Oprah. Watch. Your. Back.)

Public Relations:
Gemini is very agile at dodging bullets (there was this one time in Compton…and this other time when I was Keanu's body double on the Matrix) and creating spin. They can be manipulative and are talented at being the spokesperson. This makes a career in public relations perfect for them. If they have to organize a fundraising event or orchestrate a communications plan, they will multitask with flair and verve. Sometimes their heads spin completely out of control, but somehow they manage to pull it all together.

Novelist/Writer:
A Gemini novelist would have to work very much alone, but this is a great path to take. They get very caught up in the world of ideas and storytelling. It's better to craft a novel or a work of creative non-fiction than resort to making up stories to tell around the water cooler. At the office they would be considered a sociopath, but in the world of publishing, a brilliant writer. Gemini has an ear for conversation and gossip and will translate this into their work. Be careful what you reveal to a Gemini!

Marketing Specialist:
Whether tracking the buying habits of consumers or creating an ad campaign, this field is well suited to the big ideas of Gemini. They are fascinated by the behavior and habits of people (does fascinated mean almost always annoyed?), human nature, and statistics. If you want to know what colors will make you hungry and what scent will turn you into a hottie, ask a Gemini in this field. They are also very good at sales and presentations and the art of persuasion.

Copywriter:
Because Gemini understands the mind of the public so well, they can write copy that is very effective. Their agility with words is second to none. They are able to convey in a few well chosen-phrases, the essence of a product or an idea. Play on words is involved in this specialty area of advertising. Mercurial Gemini is able to pull concepts out of a hat (only if it’s “a say something hat!” and build a bull's-eye campaign. Most people would fear the blank page, but they consider it a challenge.

Tour Guide:
Gemini loves to ride at the front of the bus so they can talk to the bus driver (Ew! I have never! The only person I know who rides the bus is Spencer), so this job is a natural extension. They love to talk with their hands so they can easily point to landmarks and interesting sights along the way (Is that a Louis Vuitton outlet? STOP THIS BUS!). In their spare time they can compile all kinds of interesting facts to entertain their travelers. Some prefer water travel, and work in theme parks and on tour boats. For Gemini natives who prefer to stay in one spot, they can work in museums or historical sites as interpreters and guides. At any rate, they can indulge their gift of gab to baffle tourists.

Impressionist:
The best impressionists are probably Gemini natives. They can take on the personality of just about anyone. Masters of a host of accents and a repertoire of faces, they are able to amaze and entertain their friends for hours. To get paid for making fun of famous people would be almost perfect. They do it all the time anyway, why not make a living at it. All those years in school of mimicking their teachers and sitting in detention (I was always able to talk my way out of detention!) would be worth it after all.

Teacher:
This is the quintessential job for Gemini. They get to talk all day (Yeah, to children. BLECH!), read papers (Boring!), or mark tests all night (uhhh, no.) and pass on knowledge to young, impressionable minds. They get to influence young children by making them learn all kinds of trivial facts. The kids will have to memorize poems (WTF?) that will stick with them for years, and they will have to find the hypotenuse of a circle (whatever that is!). Gemini takes a certain amusement from making shy students face the class (torturing students would be fab!), and boisterous ones sit quietly.