Splat!

Walking the dog in my neighborhood has become especially difficult. Claudia draws a good amount of attention making it impossible to walk more than a few steps without having to stop and chat with a neighbor. Step step step. Chat. Step step step. Chat. It’s really annoying. What is even more annoying is hearing the same comments over and over and over again. “Is that a horse?” “How much does that thing eat?” “Is that a horse?” “I’d hate to pick up that poop.” “Is that a horse?”

This weekend I decided to venture away from my neighborhood for our walk. Not too far from my house is a marina. Claudia likes the water. I like the water. No neighbors. All good reasons to walk around the marina.

The marina was bright and sunny. The frogs were croaking. There was a nice breeze. Someone even stopped to say, “Your Dane is beautiful.” I can count on one hand the number of times someone in public has correctly identified Claudia’s breed. Overall, it was the perfect afternoon.

We were meandering back to the car when a frog hopped out in front of us. I looked at Claudia to see what her reaction was going to be. I saw her cock her head, perk her ears forward and then pounce. To some this may sound cute. Or even playful. When you are a 100-pound dog with paws the size of human fists, pouncing is not cute. Or playful. Especially if you are a frog. Within 5 seconds of spotting the frog, Claudia had squashed it. Flat. Afraid she was going to then try and eat it, I dragged her away leaving the frog carcass behind.

Coincidentally, this is not my first experience watching an animal get smooshed. My sister and I were playing in our front yard when I was maybe 13. She had a broken foot at the time and was wearing a cast on one leg. I recall it being pink. To allow her to walk easily with the cast, there was a little boot that she could wear with a v-shaped wedge on the bottom. I can’t remember exactly how she broke her foot. It either involved a snow bank or roller-skates…

Anyway, we heard a commotion down the street, and saw a cat chasing a gerbil. As most children would, we ran to the rescue. After scaring the cat away, we attempted catch the gerbil. As luck would have it, it zigged when it should have zagged and ended up under my sisters foot. The foot with the cast. She didn’t react quickly enough and squished the gerbil, killing it instantly.

Even now, I remember two things vividly.

Number one: The sound.

Number two: When she lifted her foot I noticed both of it’s eyes had popped out. And by popped out, I mean literally popped out of it’s head. To this day she remains traumatized by this experience, and to this day it’s one of the funniest memories I have of our childhood.

I highly doubt that Claudia still remembers that frog. I, however, will add it to the list of small creatures squished by members of my family.